who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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