...so i touched it.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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