your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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