coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
