You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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