so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
