I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
