Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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