Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
