I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
