Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
