There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize