Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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