their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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