he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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