oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Say something about gay babies.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
