why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
