is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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