Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
