and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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