Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
