After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
