You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We are all done wearing pants today
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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