you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
