..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
