thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
