i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
