so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
