I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
