don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
