Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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