i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
