Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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