just tell him i said nine months
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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