frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
