I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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