Just mADE A PArabola og urine
home. puking in laundry basket.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
