Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I need to calm my uterus...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize