I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
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the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
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Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize