i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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