If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
