well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
