I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she peed on how many people?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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