he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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