that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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