I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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