Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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