Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have fence marks all over my body
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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