You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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