I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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