Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
