Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
