you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
3 2 1 whiskey
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
