I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Pooping to opera.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
