i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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