Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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