Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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