I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
