Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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